Hey Cafecito Squad!
It's Meli, Creative Superhero of Cafecito and Confidence and today, my partner of a little bit over 5 years, Brandon, and I will be chatting about relationship goals! For the audio version of this interview check out our instagram @cafecitoandconfidence
Q: What is your take on relationship goals?
Brandon: I think its subjective, nothing is set in stone. Some people may have different goals than others. Whatever you vibe with is what it is.
Meli: I think its fine to have relationship goals, but I do wanna say its important to admire certain parts of a relationship and not want to embody an entire relationship especially when it comes to social media because people only post their highlight reel. Also, people are so different so it's kind of tough to say I want that relationship.
Q: Has entrepreneurship affected your relationship?
Meli: I'm gonna say yes - in a good way- Brandon actually inspired me to become an entrepreneur. It has also given us more freedom so spend more time with one another and do our relationship our way. The habits I had when I worked in a corporate setting may have even costed our relationship due to how much I worked and how it was affecting my mental health.
Brandon: I agree, it definitely makes you think a lot bigger, think about opportunities and what's possible in life.
Q: What's the key to maintaining a relationship?
Brandon: Communicating, being patient, taking time to think before you speak and setting time to spend with one another like a date night.
Meli: I think the communication piece is super important. It's also important to know yourself so you know what you value and won't put up with. A lot of times we focus on the strength it takes to maintain a relationship, but it takes just as much strength to say "hey, this isn't working out for me". But yes, to maintain the relationship definitely communication and self awareness are key.
Q: What are your love languages?
Meli: Mine is words of affirmation, Brandon's is quality time. Knowing our love languages helped us curate our weekly date nights so it definitely goes hand in hand. I know what's important to him, he knows what's important to me.
Brandon: Yeah quality time is big to me. I think its important to understand [love languages], it definitely changes things
Meli: Right, I remember when we first starting dating, I was always on my phone and I couldn't understand why it annoyed Brandon so much lol [he laughs]
Q: How do you deal with societal pressure?
Meli: Sadly we lost the audio to this question, but Brandon basically said he's a rebel when it comes to societal expectations in general. Which I definitely can attest to.
There are SO many expectations when it comes to by when you should be in a relationship, get married, have kids, etc. I think when it comes to dealing with those things you have to make a conscious decision to:
a. curate a life based off of what people expect out of you or b. do what you want and just know people will talk or think different of you.
For us, we live in our own little worlds and do what feels right to us.
Q: How do you keep up with weekly date nights?
Meli: It starts off with setting boundaries in your personal and professional life so Brandon and I have to intentionally block out Friday nights. We don't take meetings or social outings on Friday nights so you definitely have to be intentional about blocking out the date(s) you agree on. When it comes to the actual date night, it doesn't have to do anything crazy - sometimes we do puzzles, watch movies, simple things.
Brandon: Yeah, biggest thing is blocking it out. Also inform and continuously remind those around you. The people that you typically hang out with because those people will probably be the ones influencing you the most.
Q: How do you resolve conflict?
Brandon: Took me a second to think of an answer for this one 'cuz I don't think we really have conflict. I just try to ask as many questions as possible to get a better idea of how you feel why you feel that way. I think that's the way I try to approach any relationships, family, friends, etc. But like I said, we don't really have much conflict, we're both pretty calm, basic really lol.
Meli: I would also add, this is why it's important to know yourself. There are times when Brandon wants to discuss what happened right away, but because I know how I handle conflict, I know there are times where I need time to think, process my emotions, and you know... load up those clap backs lol kidding
That's all for this Q&A! Please note: The things we shared apply to any relationship, with yourself, friends, partner(s), or family, regardless of whether you're an entrepreneur or not.
What do you value in relationships? Comment under our post on instagram https://www.instagram.com/p/CLZzhK_BQhY/
Can't wait to hear from you!