Hey Cafecito Squad,
I’m Meli, Creative Superhero of Cafecito and Confidence, an online apparel store for coffee loving goal getters and today we’re going to talk about much needed changes I’m making as I release burnout, overwhelm, and overall exhaustion. Chances are you’re moving like I have, so hang out with me while I share with you why my new mantra is “I don’t hustle, I flow”.
Now, I think I earned my hustlin' certification years ago, You know how people be like “certified hustler” No? Okay lol ... Anywho - I’ve always been a workaholic. From cooking, cleaning, and helping raise my siblings while being in school to then going away and being very active/involved in college, working while in college, to then having multiple jobs as an alumni, volunteering for my sorority, to working 60+ hour weeks when I finally landed what I thought would be my dream job.
Years ago, those experiences would be something that I shared proudly and while I am happy about the impact I was able to make in the spaces around me by putting in all that work, it wasn’t until recently that I realized the huge disservice I was doing to myself.
I remember the day I finally decided to quit my corporate job, I was beyond exhausted, and tbh I loved what I did, but my gas was running out.
What I thought to be discontent about my current position was actually a combination of years of unprocessed emotions and plain exhaustion, I was literally on E.
When I quit my job, I thought I was ready to face the ups and downs of entrepreneurship after witnessing my partner who has been a serial entrepreneur for years. I knew I could hustle because I’ve been doing it all my life, but running a business is so much more than busy work - and that’s where flow comes in.
Before I continue, I want to say this -Are there going to be days that require the extra hours and energy? absolutely!
However, to me hustling symbolizes the version of me that forced herself to work instead of understanding the resistance, who spent hoursssssssss working and underestimated the power of some good ass rest, of doing things that inspire, that made me happy, of movement, of nourishment, of systems, of strategizing, of SUSTAINABILITY.
Flow to me, is creating harmony in my life between my work, health, relationships, fun, personal development, and spiritual growth. So here are a few things I'm incorporating to practice this in my life
- Grace: I am extremely critical of myself. As most overachievers are. Moving forward, Instead of hitting a full stop when I fuck up be it by missing a step in a routine or missing an entire day and waiting until the next Monday, or the next month, or quarter for that perfect re-start, I just acknowledge the mistake, and give myself permission to continue to the best of my ability and do better the next time.
- Rest: Rest is a priority. It is literally second to nothing at this time in my life. In fact, it’s not just rest as in making sure I sleep enough, but it’s also taking time to unplug. I have chosen, going forward to delete Social Media apps on weekends F-S. I have been feeling social media fatigue and much rather spend my weekends being fully present In real life. I also realized that you may be feeling the same, so I’ll be trying something new.
- Each week I’ll be dropping a content schedule on Instagram so that anyone in our Cafecito Squad who is also unplugging, but looks forward to our content can know on what day we'll be posting that week. After a few weeks Ill ask ya if it helps and we’ll decide together if the weekly drip will be here to stay.
- Speaking of social media, I’ve been thinking a lot about how to create a sustainable social media plan so that I’m not falling off the face of social media earth due to burnout and perfection paralysis every other month. Gabby from Strut to success hosted this amazing challenge that helped me get a lot of clarity and ease back into the social media game with a content strategy that feels right to me. @struttosuccess on Instagram
- The third is Energy Optimization, rest is great for making sure that you even have energy to fulfill your responsibilities, but I also started to pay attention to how my energy naturally fluctuates throughout the day, I watched a great video on tracking your energy and will be sharing tips on how to make the most of the energy you have. Optimization (making the most of) means to literally go with your natural flow. It would make no sense for me to schedule my most laborious tasks when my energy is at its lowest and vise versa. Also on the days that do require the extra hours, I know when to stretch or do things that replenish me. I’ve even been learning about how my menstrual flow affects my energy and thinking about how I can plan around that as well.
- LAST POINT Actually doing needle moving work - So the universe told me I can’t get a refund on all these hours I put in doing busy work that never moved the needle in anything, but what I do get is this big ass L to turn into a lesson. I spent SO MUCH TIME doing work, often planning things I never took action on, or just doing, because I thought I needed to be doing. Needle moving work is work that actually progresses you.
- You ever ended a busy ass day and thought to yourself - wait wtf did I just do all day? Like it just felt busy. If you were like YES Imma need you to Grab a bag near you - go ahead grab it - and pack all that shit up - pack it up! Saying yes to things because you think you have to, but don't really want to, ESPECIALLY when you actually have better things to do - pack it up. Leaving the hard tasks to the end of your day and then pushing them off to the next day and the next - pack it up! Going into your day and just doing things without an end goal in mind - pack it up! Daily to do lists with 10001 things on them - yup that too!
- We need to make sure that if we are working it is with a very specific purpose and that we have rituals and systems in place to keep us in alignment with those goals and like I said before to allow ourselves the grace to adjust accordingly when we find ourselves falling back into the patterns that no longer serve us. We also need to make sure that the people around us are very clear about the type of time we on so that they can honor those boundaries as well.
For me it’s tough to create this shift because sometimes I feel this imaginary urgency to just do because I want to create opportunities that put my family and my community in a better place. I call it imaginary urgency because it’s pressure that I put on myself and that could be a whole other blog post but, I’m going to leave you with this, there is no past or future there is only now.
Let’s work smarter for the things we want so we actually enjoy the present and the people who we’re creating a future for.
With love always,
Meli, Cafecito and Confidence